When Cats Attack

Negotiations have been underway for almost 12 months now. 

I think I want to get a cat. My wife thinks she wants to get a cat.

She wants a cat that looks like one on the TV.  I want one that talks.  She is worried that I will experiment on it, and she is probably right.  Not in a Nazi Death Camp way, but more discovering the whys and wherefores of cats of which I know nothing.    She knows I will take photographs of it and post them to social networking sites and feed it meals in individual courses. 

© 2011 Laura Palmer

Part of the reason we do not yet have a cat is that we have sensibly said that nothing should be decided until after our trip. Another reason is because of the cat next door.

Our neighbour's cat came in through our open back door a few weeks ago and we took the opportunity to practice our cat parenting skills .  We stroked it, which I'm told is good.  We fed it milk, which I'm told is very very bad.  It survived, but when we asked it to leave it attacked me.  It also returned a few days later whilst I was out, and attacked my wife.

We subsequently named the cat, "Cats Attack", short for "When Cats Attack".   For some time after we were convinced that noises outside were in fact Cats Attack trying to break into our house to continue the unprovoked violence. It would stare at us through the conservatory doors and watch unflinching as we ran around checking that all windows and doors were secure.   

This put all cat negotiations on hold whilst we considered where we had gone so terribly wrong and began to ponder the nature/nurture debate.  Was this cat a product of its upbringing or was it simply pre programmed with this aggression from a long hereditary line.  What were the chances of us bringing our own devil incarnate into the family home, disguised as a fluffy ball of meows.

However, out of the blue with no prior warning, Cats Attack was gone.  A SOLD sign had appeared outside his house and just yesterday a large van came and took him away.  Of course the van was actually for the house contents, but he must have been in there somewhere.

I'm glad that we don't have the worry of leaving a cat while we are away and I know it's the main reason some people don't ever have pets.  I am sure negotiations will commence in the near future but it is still a big responsibility for us and recent experience shows that despite our good intentions we may raise a cat that terrorises the new neighbours.